Dad to Son

Logan,

    You were the first in our family.  You came into this world with a lot of joyous anxiety.  Your mom and I were super excited to have you finally arrive.  Your grandparents were there, along with many aunts and uncles.  But, your dad was a super mess.  You were the first to show me how selfish and self-absorbed I really was and that was a very tough problem to overcome.  God is still doing a work in my life through you.  He continues to show me that it's not all about me and slowly but surely my flesh is starting to comply.  My heart aches right now while writing this because I know it's time.  I know that it is time for you to start learning the lessons that only God can teach you.  No matter what your mom and I say,  there is nothing we can say that will take the place of "bumping your head".  But I want to.  My soul longs for a  magic word that will ensure you never have a bad day and you will not experience any pain.  But pain, pain is the only way we grow.  It's the only way we get better. I am not sure how long this post will be and it may never be read all the through.  I don't expect it to be and I am writing not so much for other people but for me this time.  I am not the first dad to have a child graduate from high school and I am not the first dad to have the oldest son graduate from high school.  It sure does feel that way though.  It feels like I am the first dad ever to have a son grow up and start on his way to becoming independent of his mom and me.  Your mom and I have spent the last 18 years packing a suitcase with every bit of Godly wisdom and experience we could muster, that you will carry for the rest of your life.  This doesn't even seem real that I am writing this now.  Now that you are on the verge of leaving home and finding your own path, my thoughts turn to everything I have done wrong in your life.  There have been good times, but my thoughts continue in a most unrelenting way, to return to those things that I could have done better.  I stay worried that something I did wrong during his life would cause him to stumble along his way.  I am reminded, son, that to worry is a waste of time.  Time is precious and God don't make no mistakes.  Everything and I mean Everything is ordained by God.  And Jesus said that we would have trouble in this world, why?  Because He did.  Jesus Had Trouble and yet God turned all that ugliness into a beautiful gift.  You may ask, "Dad, why have you always told me about trouble, pain, and problems?, why not tell me how beautiful and fun the world is?"  It is simply this, this world is not short on its offerings of earthly pleasure and fun and it will use those things to sift you and make you ineffective in spreading the Gospel and shining the light that God has given you.  I love you Son and I am so looking forward to watching what God does in and through you!  Get after it and Don't Quit!!  Remember, do the hard things that no one sees so that you can accomplish what everyone will see.